Wednesday, May 21, 2014

Shy or Snooty?

If I don't feel comfortable in a situation, while most people come off as shy, I for some reason come off as cold and stuck up. I don't know why (I really must have a "b*tchy resting face"), but it is something that I have always dealt with. I have had many people tell me after getting to know me, that before they knew me they thought I was stuck up.

I am extremely shy by nature, but when I am comfortable I am VERY outgoing. So I think it comes across a little confusing to those I have acted shy towards. I really just keep to myself in most situations, I talk only when talked to, when I am not in my element. Very opposite of my very outgoing Mom. She loves to learn everyone's life stories and makes friends wherever she goes. I can be like this also, but usually only after a few shots of tequila (as many of my close friends know). I wish I knew how to make myself more approachable and less scary (if that is even the issue?). I don't know why some people can be shy, but they come off as so sweet and reserved and others like me, don't. Greg is even more outgoing than I am at this point. An example, if I see a neighbor out I wave and say Hi and ask how they are doing, then I go on my merry way. Greg will drop what he is doing walk closer to them and start up a convo, what they heck does he even have to say to our neighbors? My brain is fried, I don't think I have enough brain cells to deal with small talk especially when I am trying to get something done, or get going somewhere. I just hate small talk. I really do. I know that you can't just jump into friendships without small talk, at least not for the most part. But I feel like most of my closest friends, we have just clicked and never had to do the awkward small talk thing.

I don't even know if I am making sense anymore. I am kind of just trying to figure out what my issue is. I know this is a super random post, but it stemmed from a conversation I had with my Mom, and it has really just stuck with me these past few days since then. I am just trying to see how I can change how I am perceived, so that people don't take me not talking to them personally but just realize I am shy. Maybe if I just walk around with a huge smile plastered to my face at all times?

Alright, I am done fixating on this. I guess at this point I am just lucky that I have friends that have looked past my icy shyness and love me for me (the crazy hot mess that I am)! :)

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