Busy.

Greg and I have so much to do. We have to have everything out of here by the 29th and we have yet to really start packing anything up. The Pod will be delivered on Friday so I guess that's when we will start packing things up. Even just the thought of packing exhausts me. I would be more excited about it if it meant we were moving into a new house. Living in limbo is going to be a little tough.

We have been spending most of our free time looking at houses. Still leaning towards building. Which makes me so nervous. We are going to have to go back and look at other builders that we had visited before we were considering building. The search will most likely be put on hold until after we move and after Addi's Birthday party.

Speaking of Addi's Birthday...I still can't believe Addi is going to be ONE! I made really quick decisions for her party, unlike Aubreys which I spent months planning. It's not that I care less, it's just that I realize how unimportant some of the things I spent time and money on were. So I just simplified. Knowing that I will have three Birthday's a year to plan (pretty much one every 4 months), made me realize I had to make it easier and not go overboard on things that people don't even notice, or that don't really matter. Hopefully it will be just as nice and no one will be the wiser that I didn't spend a bunch of time planning it (well those who don't read my blog that is.).

So in other Addi news, she took a few steps the other day, but really hasn't since. She just loves to lunge at me when I try to get her to walk to me. She thinks it is so funny. She is also getting her two front teeth, which didn't seem to affect her until yesterday. She was so warm and pissy yesterday afternoon. Then she cried on and off all night. Poor baby. Addi had her Cardiologist appointment last week (which I posted about), she hadn't gained any weight since her 9 month appointment (over two months ago), so I am guessing we will be getting an ear full about that at her 1 year appointment.

I haven't had time lately to do any belly shots, but I feel my bump has stalled a bit in the growth department. I will see if I can get a pic soon!

Hopes.

I feel like I have had so much stress lately. I know it is partly my own doing, I over think everything and try to control things that are out of my control. I don't know what else to say about it, all I know is that I seem to be able to cry at the drop of a hat.

Mother's day was this weekend and if you know me well you know I am not one to get excited for holidays (especially Christmas). I feel like holiday's growing up were so stressful and I would have high expectations that they were going to be better than the year before but they never were. Each year my expectations got lower and lower, until I basically had none. I should explain that a little, so you don't go on thinking I had a horrible childhood or something. So you know how I stress about things, well I got that from my Mom. Around holidays can be a stressful time, so most times my Mom was very stressed which that then filtered down and made things tense around the house making holidays quite un-enjoyable because I was always pretty stressed about my Mom being stressed, sounds crazy I know.

Anyways I remember one Mother's day, I think I was the only one of my siblings that made my Mom a card that year, but I didn't even make a gift which was unusual for me. I always tried to make something special for my Mom. I don't even know if my Dad got her anything, can't really remember. All I know is my Mom was quite hurt that we all didn't seem to think it was necessary to celebrate her and to show our appreciation. I never really understood why she was so upset, I figured she knew how much we loved her and what a great Mom she was so why did she need that extra bit of acknowledgement? I never got it until I became a mother.

I have been busting my butt to take care of two girls while pregnant (and having no spare energy), trying to get the house in order to be shown repeatedly, trying to research houses to buy, trying to deal with getting finances in order, paying a million medical bills, dealing with an issue on Greg's credit, dealing with setting up appointments to put our stuff in storage and to get the house and carpets cleaned. I feel like I have been doing so much with out a bit of appreciation. So when Mother's day rolled around, I had high hopes even though every other year hadn't been great and one was just plain awful (on my very first Mother's day Greg didn't even spend it with me, he spent it with his Dad and Brother, and I spent it lost with Ashley, Aubrey and Ethan...long story), the others I spent celebrating Greg's Mom since we always do Mother's day with her on Mother's day and then Greg maybe took me and the girls out to dinner the next weekend to celebrate "my" Mother's day. So while others got a whole day, I got maybe an hour and a half and most times I was the one still doing all the work that goes along with bringing a child out to dinner with you. On top of that we don't usually do gifts for holidays, mostly because I usually use my "gift" up for something I want for the kids when I need a way to convince Greg to let me get it, so I tell him it can be in lieu of my gift and Greg never wants me to spend money on him so I try to get something really little but thoughtful (last year was pictures of Aubrey spelling out DADA and I framed it for his desk at work, and made him a mousepad for work too).

This year I had heard Greg on the phone saying something about doing something Saturday night or Sunday morning, so I thought that maybe he was trying to squeeze in a little time for me this Mother's day actually on or near Mother's day. I got my hopes up. So then Saturday night came and went, and I found out the only thing he had planned for Sunday morning was to go biking with friends. It was just the last straw. Do I really mean that little? I was just so hurt. I know it seems stupid because it's not that big of a holiday but I just didn't get it why as a Mother I never get to have an actual Mother's day. Greg could tell I was mad, and kept asking what was wrong. I finally just broke down, and told him how hurt I was that we never celebrate me being a Mother, how I am always just part of plans that his family has made for his Mom or worse not part of plans he has made at all (TPC, Biking, etc.). I went on to tell him it would just feel nice to be appreciated, especially on a holiday created to show appreciation. I understand he has his Mom and it's her day too (I also have my Mom to celebrate with but we always celebrate on a different day), but since having kids he has yet to realize that it's a day for me too. I mean he hadn't even gotten me a card. He was really understanding, and said he would try harder in the future. He did wake up early the next morning before I even got up and went and got cards from him and the girls and two gift cards, he also got my favorite cherry turnovers and key lime pie! He wrote the sweetest message he had ever written inside the card from him, it actually made me cry. I know it was last minute and he hadn't really planned anything but it was a great start, and I was so happy and appreciative that he made the effort after knowing how much it meant to me.

Anyways all in all I had a great day. So maybe future Mother's day will be better. But don't worry one thing I know for sure, I will not make the mistake of getting my hopes up again.

Surgery #2.

We went to the ENT this morning. We got Addi's hearing checked first. We did it since last time she had a lot of fluid in her ears and she hasn't really said any real sounds like Mama, Dada, Baba... nothing really other than H sounds. When she waves it almost sounds like she is trying to say hi, but that's about it. Anyways her hearing test showed her eardrums are not moving much at all, basically because of all the fluid. This wasn't really the main reason for the appointment, but it had been a concern.

So after the hearing test we met with the doctor, and he said she'll need to have tubes put in when he does her cleft surgery. We didn't get a set date for the surgery because they are booked up until August, but they are going to try to get us in if anything opens up before that. So it could be anywhere from two weeks from now to August. I was happy to find out that it will only be one night in the hospital, I was thinking it was going to be a few nights. I am nervous about her having another surgery, but I will be so glad to get it out of the way. I feel like it is always looming over us that she has to have another surgery soon, so once it's done we will know she won't have another surgery for at least 4 years and then after that adulthood. Good thing Addi is such a strong little fighter, no one should have to go through all this. I just keep reminding myself how lucky we are that all of her issues are fixable. I really can't even stress how blessed I feel, there are way worse things in life than what we have dealt with.

I will definitely keep you all updated on when her surgery is, we will need/appreciate all the prayers and positive thoughts we can get!

Thought I'd leave you with a smile from the precious girl herself! Her smiles always make me feel better, they just light up a room! LOVE my little fighter!

Moving on.

Greg and I have made some crazy decisions lately. We had planned on staying in the house we are currently renting for another year and then buying after that. Well that went out the window. Greg had been looking around at houses and was getting eager to just move on and buy. I on the other hand didn't feel like we were prepared enough to buy, savings wise and time wise. We literally have one month left on our lease and deciding to buy a house now gives us no time to do so before not having a place to live. This has been a HUGE roll reversal, Greg is usually the one who is logical and patient and I am the eager beaver that convinces him we need to do something rash.

So here come the decisions...

Decision #1-We are going to try to buy in the next 3-6 months, if we can find a place that quickly. So where does that leave us?? Out on the street. Just kidding!!

Decision #2- We are going to move in with my parents in the meantime. We both get along really well with my parents so I am not too worried about that. My only issue is I really dislike Palm Coast. I don't really even like visiting there. I just get a pit in my stomach while I am there, not really sure why. Guess it's just a hometown thing. So Greg and I came to an agreement that I was still able to keep my same (or maybe a little less) social schedule with meetups and playdates, with how much we are saving in not paying rent we can spend a little extra on gas. I am nervous about it, but in the end it is what will work best for the family. We are tired of moving the girls around each year and really want to settle in one area and stay!

Decision #3- What to do with all of our stuff?? This one is not really as important as our first two, but still something we need to figure out. We have a ton to do since we weren't planning on moving. I usually like to slowly start packing things up a couple months before a move, so I am feeling way behind. We will have to put all of our furniture and stuff into storage or sell it. Which is also time consuming. We are going to go with a Pod type storage since it's temporary, that way we don't have to rent a truck, unload it and then when we move rent another truck and reload it and then unload again at the new house. We will just load it up, it will sit on the storage lot, then have them drop it off at the new house.

So yep that's, that! I am nervous for so many reasons. I am only about 5 months away from my due date. I will freak if we aren't in our own house by then. I really don't want to be an hour away from the hospital when I go into labor (especially since I was already at 8 by the time I was admitted last time and I was only 5 minutes away), and really would like to be settled in before having a newborn to take care of. I am sure you all think we are beyond crazy, which I am pretty sure most of you already thought after finding out about us expecting our third baby so quickly. Don't worry I have never taken offense to being called crazy, I just think it means we keep life interesting! :D