Monday, October 31, 2011

Maybe no baby?!

For now! Greg and I are still trying to figure this 3rd baby thing out. We talked yesterday, and I think he is coming around to waiting a year or two! Fingers crossed!

Thursday, October 27, 2011

Just a little frustrated.

My kids are my life. Greg and I do our very best to raise them the way we believe is best. Everyone has their own opinions on what that might be and they can raise their children the way they see fit. It just frustrates me when people criticize something I am doing with my children. I really don't tell people how to run/live their lives, I would appreciate the same courtesy.

I spend almost 24/7 with my kids, and I put a lot of thought into everything I do with/for them. I believe I am a great Mother and that I know I am doing the best I can by my children. To have someone come and pick my parenting apart especially when they have no clue what is going on in our day to day life, is just so unappreciated. Greg tells me I should just let it roll off my back. I wish I could be as easy going as he is, but I am not. I take it personally. Like I said my children are my life, so how could I not take it personally?

Friday, October 21, 2011

Time for Solids!!

I have been putting off starting solids with Addison. We started really early with Aubrey because she was so big and the doctors hoped it would help keep her full longer and try to have her cut back on breastfeeding a little. She was quite the little nurser back then.

Addison is much smaller and not really as frequent of an eater as Aubrey was. So I thought I would hold off until 6 months. The speech therapist after Addison's heart surgery told us we should start as soon as she is old enough, which is 3 months. I just blew her off, because I just wasn't ready. Well then Addison's Pediatrician said the same thing, then her speech therapist said the same thing, and then speech therapist that works with our ENT said the same thing. I guess because of her soft cleft palate they want us to start her earlier than the norm. First because she needs to get used to different textures, and most importantly because she spits up so much (out her nose, due to the issue with the soft cleft palate). The hope is the solids will weigh it down and she won't spit up as much. They also want to change her to prevacid, since it is stronger than Zantac. I think the spit up is doing a number on her. Poor Addison.

So on Tuesday after getting the call from the 4th Doctor suggesting we start solids, we started solids. We had all the stuff for a while now, I just couldn't pull the trigger. So her is my itty bitty baby eating solids!! We are going to try a green veggie tonight! Wish me luck!!
She didn't really like it...
but being the amazing baby she is, she still ate it!

Thursday, October 20, 2011

This week...

Has had its ups and downs. The beginning started of really rough. Greg and I had a tiff that started Sunday and lasted until lunch time Tuesday. Well I guess if I am being completely honest it was a little more than a tiff. Greg and I don't fight often, so when we do it kind of gets blown out of proportion. I am really glad it happened though, because I feel like there is so much less tension and we both got to say our point of views. The last time we had a fight like this was probably after Aubrey was born, I think we just have an ajustment period and because we don't fight often we keep things in and it just now finally played out. When things aren't good with Greg and I, I become a little withdrawn. I actually didn't leave the house at all on Tuesday. Which for me is just plain CRAZY!

So after we got all that sorted out, I had two great days. Wednesday I went to Joann's and got paints and brushes to paint a Minnie and Daisy drawing I did for Aubrey. Then met Greg for lunch and heading to Addison's theraphy appointments. Which you would think appointments would be awful, but these ones went great. They were really busy so we got to go the biggest room, that had a ball pit, trampoline, mats, and tons of toys. It was like MyGym but FREE and Aubrey had free reign of it and had a blast. Addison did great too, she was showing off all of her rolling and head control and she was playing with all the toys like a pro!

Today was even better! Aubrey went bowling for the first time, and she loved it! I love love love to bowl, and so I hope Aubrey will love it as much as me and then we can get matching balls with our names engraved in them, matching outfits, matching shoes, and join a Mother-Daughter league... hehehe had you worried there for a sec. No but really I would love for us to be able to bowl together as she grows up! After that we grabbed a quick lunch with "Nonan" (that's how Aubrey is saying Logan these days) and Emily. Then when I got home, it was just too freaking pretty to go inside so we took a walk to the playground and just enjoyed the amazing weather we are having!

So what started out as a crap week, is turning into a pretty great one!!

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Rough day...

I am ready for this day to be over. I just want to crawl in bed and hide... well... more like sleep!

Saturday, October 15, 2011


Guilt has been something I have dealt with for as long as I can remember. I feel guilty for almost everything. I am not really sure why, but I think I got it from my Mom. Lately I have had a lot of guilt. I end up taking it out on Greg a lot of times. Which makes me feel even more guilty.

So what is giving me guilt?? Basically I feel like Addison doesn't get enough attention. I feel pulled in so many different directions. Addison sleeps a lot, and is just the most easy going baby I have ever met. She is always content no matter where she is, in her carseat, swing, play gym, rock and go, blanket, and crib. She rarely cries. Believe me I am not complaining, but I feel like because she doesn't cry or complain that I never want to bother her if she is in something and happy, or especially if she is sleeping. Aubrey is much more dependent on me (always has been) and so I cater to her and in turn feel like I am neglecting Addison. It is eating away at me.

I have tried to have some one on one time with her when Greg gets home. I have also had Greg have one on one time with her. Greg doesn't get my guilt. I ask him to spend some time with Addison and he puts her in her swing or in something, and I have to try to explain that that is not really spending quality time with her. This is when I start taking my guilt out on him. I get mad at him for not paying "enough" attention to her, but really I am mad at myself.

During the day I am trying my best to split my time between the girls, and trying to spend time reading or playing with both together. Its beyond hard. I feel like the worst Mother. Like I am failing both girls in different ways. Failing Aubrey because I may not be teaching her as much as other Mothers are teaching their toddlers. Failing Addison because I can't hold her at all times.

I keep trying to convince myself that as long as I am doing the best I can that I shouldn't feel bad. It doesn't work. I just hope I am doing good enough. I hope I am not hindering or scarring them. I wish I wasn't so hard on myself.

Guilt SUCKS!

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

What has Addi been up to lately??

Playing with Grandma! She loves her so much!
Playing on her own! What a big girl! 

Rolling over!! 
Trying to get a move on! 

My little Roly Poly!
Learning to sit!

I feel like she is changing so much daily, that I can't keep up! She is such a sweet baby girl! I am such a lucky Mama! :)

Things don't always go as planned...

But that is not necessarily a bad thing!

I had been dying to take Aubrey to SeaWorld! She is so into animals and is loving learning about new things! I just knew that seeing... dolphins, whales, sea lions, and so much more, would be so awesome for her! 

Finally Greg agreed to going, and our friends Emily and Daniel and their adorable son Logan were joining! The weather leading up to our adventure was gorgeous, it had cooled down considerably. I was so excited!

Finally the day arrived and it was the most intense stormy day we have had all year. We decided to suck it up and stick with our plan. We bought the kids ponchos, that were way too big. They looked adorable though!
The kids loved the rain they decided to stick their heads in the run off of a covering. It was so fun to watch them being silly!
Emily and I almost got blown away a few times, had our ponchos plastered to our thighs, and our sandals were slipping everywhere. It was quite hilarious! We had a blast, not in the same way we would of if the weather had been perfect, but it was definitely an unforgettable day!
We did it all again the next day, we put on our already soaked poncho's and braved the storm. Finally around 11:00 the raining stopped. We were so afraid to jinx it so we kept our ponchos on for a good bit. We got to see two shows, which the kids loved and I am pretty sure we all enjoyed just as much. Not as much for the show, but just getting to watch the excitement on the kids faces! 
When I had imagined our trip to Seaworld it turned out nothing like I had envisioned or planned. But it was a wonderful weekend... we were cold, we were wet, and we were having a blast!!