Friday, December 20, 2013

Staying in.

If you know me well you know I hate staying home. Maybe even those that don't know me all that well know that by now. Lets just say I have posted it about it a time or two. Well Aubrey requested Wednesday night that we "stay home and play the whoooolllle next day". So who am I to say no? We have been SO busy lately. We have had an appointment almost every single day since returning from Maryland, and had one every single day the week before leaving for Maryland. Yep we had about 10-15 appointments over the last few weeks. Talk about CRAZINESS! So her request made perfect sense. Plus I had already been thinking about how life is going by so fast and I really just want to have a few slow days to enjoy my kiddos. We haven't just stopped and relaxed in so long. So Thursday we did nothing but play, watch a Christmas movie, snack, and play some more. It was so much fun (can't believe I just said staying home was fun LOL) that we decided to do it again today.

Today has been a little more exciting. Addi, Aubrey and I were playing in the backyard while Greyson slept. Addi ran in and shut the door. Aubrey went to follow and found out that Addi had locked us out. Aubrey and I spent the next 45 minutes trying to to tell Addi how to unlock it. Addi would try and then get super sad because she couldn't figure it out (she kept locking the night time lock and then trying to unlock the top lock). It looked hopeless and Greyson was due to wake up any moment. So I ran and opened the garage and Aubrey and I looked for a way to break in (of course the door from the garage into the house was also locked). I used a DVD and wedged the lock inwards and it opened. I think we will be getting dead bolt for that door. It was way too easy to get in. At least the garage door itself would be hard to get into without the code.

So all in all I guess staying home every once in while is actually nice. Just as long as we don't make a habit of it. ;)

So since I have been home for TWO days straight, I have taken so many videos and pictures. They just do the cutest things EVER and I feel so compelled to capture everything. So here are some video's for you all. Enjoy! 





Monday, November 18, 2013

Everyone has rough times.

Let me preface this post by saying, I am overly sensitive and take things very personally. Even if it wasn't directed towards me, I feel like I need to say something.

I have had a rough week. Is it the worst week any person has ever had? No. 

My children were having a rough week and misbehaving and it was overwhelming, does it mean that I don't love them to death? No.

I lost my wallet and have had to start from scratch getting things back in order, is it the worst thing that has ever happened to me? No. 

Just because I have had a rough week and have vented about it, doesn't mean I don't appreciate what I have. Everyone has tough times, some have tougher times than others, but to judge or compare and say they don't know what tough is, is in my opinion BS. I have been through so much with Addi's health, sat by her bedside in the NICU not knowing if she was going to survive the night, I know what tough is and believe me that still isn't close to what others have gone through, there is always something tougher. I am not usually one to "complain", I have an awesome family and amazing friends and I feel I am so lucky and I thank God every day for that. So don't think for one second because I am venting about a rough week that I don't know that. I really wish that people would stop judging others and just be understanding that while it may not be the worse thing you personally have gone through and it seems trivial to you, people are allowed to talk about it. It's completely fake to go on and on about how perfect your life is, it's just not reality. So get off your high horse and have a little compassion as other would for you if you were having a rough time, and know that just because someone is having a rough go of things and expresses that, it doesn't mean they appreciate things any less than you do.

This day and age I feel like you can't say much without someone picking it apart. You know when someone asks you while you are pregnant what you are hoping for, and everyone gives the beauty queen answer, "I'm just hoping for a healthy baby", (umm is that not a given?) because we are so afraid of being judged if we have a preference, afraid of looking selfish (hello, do you not know how many women out there would kill to have a baby, any baby and you are sitting here hoping for a certain sex?) We can't even honestly answer because of something, somewhere that someone (whom we don't even know) might be going through. I say this being a person that struggled with fertility for a long time. I was so happy to be pregnant but I still had hopes of what the sex might be, it's only natural. I was talking to my friend on the phone today and she was talking about how hard this stage with her kids has been, and she said "I love them but..." It's like we have to say a positive thing before we can vent so that we won't be judged for feeling the way we do. What happened to Mama's supporting each other. We are all trying our best. and you know what? Sometimes it's not all rainbows and butterfly's, sometimes its really hard. I guess we should just keep that inside though, so that no one will think we don't appreciate life or what we have. It's just craziness if you ask me. If a friend were to call you to vent about their lives, would you tell them that their petty problems aren't important and to call you back once they have more valid complaints, I surely hope not. You definitely wouldn't be a friend worth having if that were the case.

My point is, that just because you are going through a tough time and you feel it is tougher than what someone else is going through it doesn't make their problems any less valid. 

Alright, I am done. I usually just leave things alone and am not very feisty but I just can't put up with anymore crap right now. 

Thursday, November 14, 2013

Have you ever? (warning venting post)

Have you ever had one of those days where everything that could go wrong, does? Well that has been my WHOLE week thus far. I am running low on patience, energy, brain power, on pretty much everything. It got so bad today when I realized we were going to miss karate, which I had very much been looking forward to seeing Aubrey do (she was beyond excited about it). I called Greg crying about how I just can't do it anymore. I feel like I am trying so hard and nothing is going right.

I have been trying to get to the grocery store for FOUR days. How is it possible that I have not been able to make it? We have NO food at home right now, its ridiculous. The only thing we have any of is milk, I kid you not. We are busy but really are we THAT busy? We finally made it to Target today just to pick up stuff to make a quick dinner tonight and to get dresses for the girls, for family pictures this weekend. I already knew exactly which ones. I was just running in because we had to be at karate. Lets just say I didn't have a single happy camper while we were there. Then I get to check out and the dresses that were on sale, did NOT ring up on sale. So I told the cashier nicely and she got so rude and told me I was wrong. I stood my ground (of course with my kids crying, fighting, and screaming the. entire. time.), and it cost me 20 minutes. 20 minutes I did not have. I got my $14 dollars though, so wooptie-doo.

Just a few other fun things that have happened just today alone (the rest of the week was just as bad but like I said I am running low on brain power), broke my favorite large hurricane candle holder into a million pieces, spilled rice all over my floor (not sure if you have ever tried sweeping up a bunch of sticky rice, not fun.), lost Addi's shoe while leaving target, she was flailing around while I was holding her hand refusing to put her feet on the ground (I of course realized it after I got two of the kids in their car seats), went to the garage to unsuccessfully hunt down my extra hair straightener for this weekends pics (left mine in Melbourne) and when I came back my couch was COVERED in blue crayon which made me almost late picking up Aubrey from school (and I like to be early), hit Aubrey's head on the car door while she was trying to get in the car (accidentally, of course) a meltdown ensued, Aubrey kept saying "Oh my GOD" over and over again (which she knows upsets me) and I asked her repeatedly not to say, and she just gave me attitude and told me she can say what she wants to say and I needed to just leave her alone (oh and her newest thing is telling me "that's not fair at all" and that "I don't know nuffin" if I try to ask her questions, both with full on attitude. She said she learned it from a friend from school, fun stuff.). I guess the hardest thing about this week is on top of my two oldest not behaving Greyson has been a grump, and is throwing major tantrums. I can deal with one or two kids misbehaving or being cranky but to have all three at the same time, its just TOO much. I love my kids more than anything but sometime it's really overwhelming.

I need a break.

Monday, November 11, 2013

Speech Going Down Down Down Downnnnn...

So you know how I posted about Addi's speech taking off. Well it really did, the first two days after surgery she was talking great. Then on Saturday she was acting off all day and not talking much or clearly. I was just so confused. I kept calling her Zombi Addi. She was just out of it. I took her temp that night, she hadn't felt warm to me all day, but I just couldn't figure out what was going on. She ended up having a high temp, so we called the doctor and they said to watch it. The next day her temp was not as high, but still not normal and she is sooooo mucusy. It sounds like it is all in her throat and she seems to be having a tough time sleeping because of it. Today she hasn't been any better, her words that before surgery were fairly clear are barley coming out. She isn't herself at all. Its so weird because you would of thought the hard days would of been right after surgery, but nope. They said she'd get stuffy and have mucus but I didn't know it'd be this bad.

Friday, November 8, 2013

Speech Taking Off!

We have a house full of chatterboxes now. Addi is going crazy with talking. The songs she used to sing that were just the tune but mostly garbled together words, are now actual words... and she knows them all! We ran into her speech therapist today at Target, and she was blown away with the clarity of her talking! It has only been two and a half days since surgery and there is already huge improvement. I'm so excited and I just can't hide it! Yes I am singing and doing a little happy dance!

Mr. Gman he has been working on his ABC's, and can get up to F. Not super clearly but he is working on it NON-STOP! He has also been saying Chugga (for choo-choo soul, all my kids are obsessed), and night-night (he actually asked to go night-night, pointed me to his bedroom and then to his crib, and within minutes was fast asleep), He says yeah and is very clear about what he wants and doesn't want. I'm not going to have a little baby for much longer. Kind of sad, but really loving him communicating so well!

So to top it off we have Aubrey, the original chatterbox! Man that girl loves to talk and sing! I love every second of it, even when she has "questions?" to try to prolong bedtime.

So yep, things are looking up in the Moore household, lots of communication going on!

Thursday, November 7, 2013

Our Amazing Fighter.

This surgery was not by any means the scariest surgery Addi has every had, actually no where close. That of course didn't keep me from stressing about it constantly and losing sleep over it. The scarier part of this surgery was what the Doctor might find when he got in there. If you have read my other posts then you know that there was talk of reconstruction and further surgeries. Going in, I was under the impression that those future surgeries would be happening immediately, if not immediately then fairly soon. So I was much more scared of finding out what the results of this surgery were, more than even the surgery itself. Although any surgery is scary in my opinion.

We found out beforehand that Addi's doctor had taken into account how taking the adenoids out would affect her speech. He decided to only take the top half out and leave the bottom. So now we don't have to worry about her speech becoming worse, but still have hope of it improving. Great news, right?!

When the doctor came out after the surgery, he started showing us pictures of inside her throat and drawing pictures to help us understand. Her airway is narrowing in spots, one spot in particular is really narrow. It looks like because of everything that is happening in her nasal area it is affecting everything below. It has caused her airway to be weak which is allowing it to be pushed in by outside factors (not really sure if its muscle or bone or what is pushing in on it, I was a little overwhelmed at the time that I don't think I could of even formed the question to ask what was possibly pushing in on it). I was sitting there silently freaking out. I swore the doctor was going to tell me that he was going to have to cut open her throat and fix this. I stayed as calm as I could on the outside, and kept listening. He was going on and on about it, and finally after what seemed like an hour, he said that he wasn't going to do anything about surgical about it yet. He instead wants to focus on getting her breathing through her nose, which this surgery should help and also they have some other "tricks up their sleeves" to help her along. He feels that once she gets breathing better her airway will strengthen and hopefully fix itself. She will need more surgery in the future, but not in the near future. Which was SO relieving to hear. He went on to say that she is so young and he feels she has already been through enough and doesn't want to do anything else surgical until it is absolutely necessary, and after she grows more we can see what just might happen to be something she grows into/out of. So for now they are keeping a close eye on her breathing, to make sure the narrowing doesn't get worse and to try to improve her nasal breathing.

I know this probably doesn't sound like fantastic news, but to me it was better than I had ever hoped for. My baby can focus on being a baby and not have to go through more surgerys for a while. To me, that is a win! I am just hoping and praying she grows out of all of this and that all this worrying was for nothing.

So besides all that, the surgery itself went well. Addi was in a good bit of pain afterwards, which was so hard to watch. She kept saying "I sooo sad", and asking "what you doing?" and fighting every nurse that tried to touch her. She ripped her IV out, so we really had to force drinking on her more than we would like to. It breaks my heart to see her like that especially since she is normally so spunky and crazy. Sad Addi is so much worse than Angry Addi, which might I say it pretty bad. Addi does everything 100%. So when she is happy, she is super happy. When she is angry, she is extremely angry. When she is sad, she is intensely sad, she is pretty much the saddest child you will ever see.

On the way to the hospital:


Before Surgery:
 After surgery:


She is such a fighter, it is amazing how resilient she is. She seriously is always amazing me.

These past few days have been hard, but we are lucky that we had so much support while going through this all. I can't even begin to thank everyone for their support. We are truly blessed to have such awesome family and friends in our lives. I really don't know how I would of gotten though all Addi's surgeries without everyone. Without, my parents dropping everything to help us out every. single. time. (I can't even begin to tell you how amazing they are.) Without Greg's Mom getting her whole church to pray for Addi each time, and coming up to be with us during her heart surgery. Without family and friends making meals, thinking and praying for Addi, checking in on us, and just lending an ear for us/me to vent to. JUST AMAZING! Every little bit of support means the world to us. Thank you ALL from the bottom of our hearts.

Monday, November 4, 2013

Never-ending.

Today was a tough day. We met with Addi's pediatrician and went over everything with him. Asked him all the questions I have been compiling in my mind for the past few weeks after finding out suddenly that Addi had so many more problems than we had thought. I was so overwhelmed the day we got the news that I didn't even get to wrap my head around it enough to ask any real questions. So finally getting to ask them was nice, but after getting the answers I am pretty sure I really didn't want to know the answers.

It seems like this is going to be a long process, and that it may entail reconstructive surgery in her future and we found out that taking out her adenoids might not help with her speech, it might actually make it worse. It will help with her breathing though. Which I am thankful for but I am just really sad to know that her speech could get worse. We have been working so hard on her speech, and come so far that being able to understand her less than we already do is going to be hard to swallow. Over the past few weeks (since they took the earwax out allowing her to hear out of her good ear) her speech has taken off like crazy! It is still very nasally but we can actually understand a lot more of what she is saying, and she is saying a TON of sentences! I am now worried we are going to be taking a huge step back.

I told my doctor it seems like this will be never-ending and he told me it pretty much would be (in nicer terms of course). It seems like she might always have speech problems. I am not sure if he is trying to make sure I am not getting my hopes up to high, or just being realistic. I do get overly hopeful about things, and by now I think he knows that. Thank goodness for him though, he is always so honest with us and straightforward and he has such a soft spot for Addi. He loves her spunk and how resilient she is. She always shocks all the doctors with her fight and how quickly she bounces back from things. I just pray that as she gets older that it stays that way. I really hope she doesn't remember any of this because I know that watching my baby moaning in pain after her last surgery was so traumatic for me that I can't even imagine how traumatic this all is for her or will be for her in the future. I asked the doctor for reassurance that this recovery wouldn't be as bad as her cleft surgery, and he told me that the cleft surgery is one of the most painful surgeries there is, that it is even much more painful then childbirth. Can you even imagine? Thank goodness we are past that surgery already, and I just hope to God that when they do the bronchoscopy and laryngoscopy that they don't find any more issues with her cleft.

I know this is a totally uninteresting post, this post is mostly just to get my thoughts out because I am going insane thinking and worrying about everything. Please if you are still reading this, just keep my baby girl in your thoughts and prayers. I am dreading these next few days and I know they are going to be way worse for her, especially since she doesn't even see it coming. It just breaks my heart.


Friday, November 1, 2013

Halloween!

Halloween isn't one of my favorite holidays. As a person that stresses easily, figuring out costumes, getting kids ready, and having enough candy for trick-or-treaters isn't on the top of my fun list. Once I am out watching the kids have a blast I feel it is totally worth it but leading up to that I kind of dread it all.

I love seeing all the homemade costumes, people come up with the cutest ideas. I wonder if I will ever be one of those people who make a costume. Growing up we made EVERY single costume. We were never allowed to just go pick out a store bought costume and on top of that my Mom couldn't sew. So we were a very crafty family and we had a blast figuring out costumes, but I couldn't help but yearn for a store bought costume. It's sad because I can sew, and I am crafty. Maybe once I am not so tired from chasing three little ones around... 

So here they are my cuties in their store bought costumes...

 They make anything look good! :)

Glad that's over, now we can focus on my favorite holiday... Thanksgiving!!! (You had to know that was my favorite... a whole holiday centered around food, family, and being thankful. Can't get much better than that!!)



Friday, October 18, 2013

My Go-To Meals Lately! (Crock Pot Ranch Pesto Chicken, Crock Pot Chicken Bryan, Veggie with Goat Cheese Tacos, and more...)

I am ALWAYS trying new meals, mostly because it keeps me interested in cooking and I love the possibilities of finding yummy fantastic food! So here are some recipes that I have loved and actually made more than once, which is CRAAAZAY for me!

Crock pot Ranch Pesto Chicken! (I forgot to take pictures of this meal, darn.) 
This is the easiest on my list, it is 4 ingredients and one of those ingredients in Chicken. Can't get much easier than that, right? Greg LOVED this meal and for him to love anything is saying a lot. There are also great suggestions in the comments sections of other idea's for this. I tossed it with bow-tie pasta, delish! Next time I am using the leftovers to make Panini's. Melt some mozzarella on top and maybe add some roasted red peppers, my stomach is growling just thinking about it! YUM!
For those who want to pin it: Pin it here!

Crock Pot Chicken Bryan : If you know me well you know I am OBSESSED with goat cheese! I could eat it all day long. It has a very strong flavor so I know this can be very hit or miss with most people. Greg isn't huge on it, so he just doesn't put much of it on top of his meal. Here are all the ingredients in the crock pot. This meal is a little more prep compared to most crock pot meals but it is so worth it, and for those with kiddos (like me) you can just do this while they are napping and not have to worry about trying to cook while they are awake. That alone to me makes this meal an EASY meal. 
This is in my crock pot as I type:
I will update with more pictures tonight! Pin it here!

Veggie and Goat Cheese Wrap/Tacos: This is my go to lunch for the week. Again it has goat cheese... I change up which veggies I use each week. I have used, mushrooms, eggplant, zucchini, squash, onions, red peppers, and artichoke hearts. I think these are great because you can use whatever veggies you like, and it tastes amazing no matter what! I decided to make taco's with it one night, it seemed easier and taste just as yummy! I always top with fresh basil (I always put basil in the wraps too) and goat cheese ! SO AMAZING!



Greek Pasta Salad: This is just like any pasta salad, super simple and yummy. I chop up cucumber, calmative olives, cherry tomatoes, salami, ham, green peppers and onions. Then I add feta and mix it all up. In the meantime I have cooked Penne pasta and let it cool some. I then add the semi cooled Penne and tops with extra virgin olive oil (about a 1/2-1 tbs) and mix. Then I add Italian dressing (I always make the packet kind because it's so yummy). I use my discretion on how much dressing, I usually go with less than I think I will need. I mix it all up and then I portion out what I will be using for dinner and put the leftovers away (I do this because the next step is to add lettuce and if you add it to all then leftovers will be ruined because the lettuce will wilt). So next I mix in lettuce and add more dressing if needed and that's it! I am always trying to find ways to get Greg to eat salad, so this was one way! He likes it because it is much more filling than regular salad and not just a normal pasta salad! I don't really measure anything because in a salad there really isn't a need, it tastes good no matter what you add to it! 


Caesar Salad Pasta: This last meal is a recipe I am working on. I haven't quite perfected it yet, once I do I will post it! I had this Caesar Pasta at a restaurant and loved it, so I am trying to replicate it without it being a ton of calories. Will keep you all posted!  



Friday, October 11, 2013

Surgery again.

So we just found out that Addison has a couple more surgeries in her immediate future. It has been a rough week. We have had appointments four days this week (at least one was mine). Appointments on there own are exhausting, having three kids in tow even more exhausting, finding out your daughter has to have surgery... beyond exhausting.

It was a whirlwind of information so I am not even completely sure I have digested it, or know exactly the in's and out's of whats going on. We have gone to see two ENT's this week. Greg and I had thought that she was having issues hearing and that it was what has been delaying her speech. Come to find out we were right she isn't hearing well, but that she also has a lot of other issues in her mouth and throat that go beyond the soft cleft (which she has already had surgery to fix) that are inhibiting her speech and causing other issues. So surgery is schedule for the beginning on November, they are going to fix a few issues and get a better look at what other issues will need to be fixed at a future date.

Greg had come to the appointment for as long as he could but had a meeting that he couldn't missed, of course it happened to be the time where I found out everything. So while I am being told all this I was alone with all three kids... when Greyson wasn't trying to wiggle free from me he was talking his little head off, Addi and Aubrey were fighting over toys, and as always Aubrey was asking a million questions, all while I am trying to digest all the information that is being thrown at me.I was overwhelmed to say the least. I have to say the doctor was amazing, he took the time to really listen to our concerns, took a really close look at Addi, was so sweet to all the kids and even called a nurse in to help me. I was so drained, but was proud of myself for keeping it together and not crying in front of the doctor (Greg was shocked that I didn't cry). Just spent the rest of the day doing that. Fun times.

So yep. Here we go again.

P.S. Please keep Addi in your thoughts and prayer, my poor baby girl has been through so much.

Monday, October 7, 2013

It's been a while.

I know it has been way too long since I last posted. I am just too busy these days to find time to blog. I think of things I want to write all the time but just can't seem to sit down and do it. Greyson turned one recently, I can hardly believe it myself. He is such a happy and bright little boy and he seemed to thoroughly enjoy his birthday. Boy does that kid love him some cake. He eats everything in sight still, I am waiting for his pickiness to kick in and believe me it's only a matter of time. He is growing so fast, standing on his own, taking a few steps, break dancing like a fool, adding words to his vocabulary, and saying old words clearer. I really just want him to stop growing up. I love my baby, and I just want him to stay a baby.












Wednesday, August 14, 2013

Reading makes me angry.

For as long as I can remember reading has always made me very angry. I know that sounds nuts but it does. Since having Aubrey three and a half years ago I gave it up completely. Before that I was reading every chance I got. I'm the type that the more I read, the more and more I want to read. I CAN NOT be interrupted while reading or I am a pissy mess. That's where the anger comes in. When I start a book, I never want to put it down not even for a second, with the exception of the second Twilight book. I read that while on bedrest after IVF and I threw it on the ground over and over again each time Id decide to give it another try and ask Greg to retrieve it off the floor, just to throw it right back down there. It was such an annoyingly predictable book, I just couldn't take it. All other books though I want to just lay around and read every last word, and when that's not possible I become really angry and irratible. So I had made a decision that I would stop reading once Aubrey was born because I never wanted to become angry at her for cutting my reading short. It sounds awful but I know myself, and I'm not an angry person by nature (at least I don't think I am), but mess with my reading time and I'm pissed. So that brings us to last week. I was watching a movie that is also a book and I was thinking about how much better books are than movies (don't tell Greg I said that, he loooooves movies). It made me really miss reading. I decided it was time to allow myself some limited reading time. An hour a day. So I'm back to reading and I'm cutting myself off before anyone else can, so far it's working (although yesterday I snuck in an extra hour before bedtime). I am loving reading again and am hoping to keep it under control. Goodness, it sounds awful when I put it that way. Oh well, it is what it is. :)

If anyone has any reading recommendations I'd be more than happy to hear them (I'm just not one for books with a lot of killing).

Wednesday, August 7, 2013

My Chunky Monkey.

Aubrey used to be the chunky monkey around these parts, but there is a new sheriff in town. Our little G-man has been packing on the lbs. He now weighs just as much (if not more) than Addi. He so far has really been following in his big sisters foot steps. He is a talker. He is already repeating like crazy. He can say, hi (with a southern accent, I for some odd reason say it like that to him when I am trying to pronunciate it clearly to him hahaha), Mama, Dada, hey, yeah, yay, yes, baba (bottle), Addi (I somehow knew this would be one of his first words hahaha), up, please (he's only said this once so it could be a fluke), and is currently working on uh-oh. He says the "uh" part then laughs hysterically, not really sure why uh-oh is so funny but to him it is hilarious. I am not really sure he knows what any of it means, but he says them.

Greyson is still NOT pulling up to standing. He pulls up to his knees, but that is it. He doesn't seem to care either about even attempting to walk. I hold his hands and he will take steps but he is over it after 5 steps and then just goes limp. He is just content doing things his ways, and I am really not going to rush him. I am actually not looking forward to him walking, I want him to stay my cuddly chunky baby and as soon as he is walking that will all be over. Goodness I don't even know how life will be without having at least one itty bitty baby. I am not sure I want to know either. I really should of spread my kids out more. I am going to miss having babies. I am just hoping one of my sister in laws gets pregnant soon and then I can just steal their babies for a bit, all the fun none of the sleepless nights! Sounds AH-mazing! Wow, way to get WAY off subject Mel.

Sorry for the rambling.

Back to my little G-man. I have officially started planning his FIRST birthday party and I can't even believe a year has gone by. It feels like yesterday I was heading home from the hospital with him in tow, and now he is turning one. I know every Mom begs for time to slow down and I for one have done it more times than I can count, but goodness I don't know how else to explain how it feels. Once kids come, time just speeds up like you wouldn't believe. Time just HAS to slow down.








XOXO!

I have been very hesitant to write this post, as not to jinx things. These past few days have been considerably better with Addi. She's been having less outburst and has really taken off in the word department. I was really having a hard time with Addi (as you probably know if you've kept up with the FEW posts I have had lately). I talked to my Mom about everything and she recommended that I should continue doing what I am doing but at the end of time out/punishment/tantrum, I should make sure to hug her tight and explain the situation and my expectations of her quietly. I had been explaining to her calmly before that but she was usually flailing about and trying to get away from me as FAST as she could. So I was skeptical on how this was going to work. Well let me just tell you, since the first time I tackled that little girl with hugs and kisses and told her what behavior I expected from her and she is responding. Before I was trying to be stern but this time I was trying to make her see that no matter what I love her, which I guess I assumed she knew. Aubrey always gets hug after getting in trouble, because she is so upset that she did something wrong and is begging for hugs. So I guess with Addi never trying to get hugs and more so just trying to get away and continue on her mission, I just never thought anything of  the difference between how we handled each girl.

So now I am trying my best to show her as much affection as I can, even if she acts like she doesn't want it. Now when she is going crazy in the car I reach back and rub her leg and she loves it and calms right down. She loves it so much so that she doesn't want me to have my hand back. She is being so sweet right back. It makes me really re-access how I was being as a Mom. I was so overwhelmed with her that I had little patience and I was forgetting that even though Addi is trying to get away from me most the time, that I just need to try extra hard to give her hugs and snuggles. I am hoping that this continues as does the flood of words that have come from my amazing little spitfire lately. :)

Thursday, August 1, 2013

No naps for Addi.

This is week three of Addi not napping. She falls asleep the second we get in the car now, which before was unheard of. Strangely, my kids aren't really car sleepers. She is overtired ALL the time. She is a little Zombie these days. Here are some of what she does during nap times...


Then there is the times when she escapes. She wakes the other kids up, just to keep things fun.



SO. I bet you are wondering how this has affected (or is it effected? Gosh I wish I had paid more attention in school. :P) Addi's lovely behavior. Well I am sure you have some idea. It's been ROUGH. She is throwing fits left and right, even more than usual. We took her to the doctor thinking she had an ear infection, she was rubbing her ears and soooooo upset ALL. THE. TIME. Well they couldn't even see if she had one because she had so much wax in her ears. With the tubes they don't like to get wax out so they gave us drops that will take care of the wax and infection (if in fact there is one/two hidden behind her walls of wax). On the plus side (sort of?) we did find out she doesn't weigh 28 lbs like the had weighed her in at last appointment. She actually weighs 21. There goes us getting her weight into the 50th percentile (I had HIGHLY doubted that she was, but was willing to just go with it hahaha.) So back down to the 5th percentile we go.

So yeah that's what we have been dealing with lately. I am just hoping and praying that this phase flies by because I was already overwhelmed with her normal day to day behavior, so adding this in the mix just isn't going over well. Where is my sweet Addi, and when is she coming back?

Saturday, July 27, 2013

Willow!!

So Willow is coming to visit and the timing couldn't be better. Aubrey has started asking for a blue doggy. Yes BLUE doggy. I tried to explain to her that there aren't any blue dogs but she told me I was wrong and she wanted one. So Greg and I tried to change the subject to Willow's visit! Hopefully she will forget this whole blue doggy thing because there is one thing I know, even if there was a blue dog out there we would not EVER be getting a dog. (Don't hold me to that hahaha).



Hard time keeping up.

I realize I have had a really hard time keeping up with my blog. Life with three littles can be pretty hectic, as you probably all know. But that isn't the only reason, I think of things I need to write about all the time and then completely forget them the next second. So I am going to make a quick little list on here so that I can try to get them all down in the next few weeks or so...

Baby Bag Review #2- Since review number one I have used a handful of other bags and would love to dish about them all!
30th Birthday Cruise- Hopefully I will still remember all the good stuff by the time I write this!

Goodness there I go again, I can't think of the others. In the middle of the night though, I had a ton of thoughts that I just "had" to write about. Maybe they will come back to me. This "Mom Brain" is even worse than preggo brain.

Wednesday, July 17, 2013

After a day like today.

After a day like today, I am so glad I am getting away tomorrow. Today a man yelled at Addi, and I was too much in shock, and too much of a push over to say anything back. I am kicking myself wishing I had had the guts to say something, he was so rude and unkind, there is NEVER a need to yell "shut up" at a two year old. Greg had left the table to get our food, and I am thankful he wasn't there to hear this guy yell at Addi. I don't think it would of ended well. Greg was of course livid when I told him, of course I was trying hard not to cry while I was telling him (I swear these days anything to do with my kids makes me cry). I wish I could go back in time and say something to that man, but really even at this moment have no clue what I would of said. I was wiped out after lunch but still had to hit up Target to get Greg the necessities to survive for three days without me, and to pick up my one bottle of allotted wine for the girls cruise. As the lady watched me struggle to load all my goods up on the register while Addi kept screaming and pulling every which way, she said to me "Are you sure you don't want more than one bottle, you look like you need a few." She was joking of course, and to tell you the truth she's probably right. These past few days, weeks, maybe even months have been so tough with Addi. I love her more than I can even put in words but goodness she is a very unhappy child these days. I am trying to stay patient and trying to talk through things, trying to be understanding, trying, trying, trying. But man she is "trying" me.

Thursday, July 11, 2013

Over the Moon!

This week has been a rough one. I got quite sick and Greg had a volleyball tournament so he wasn't home much at all this week so I have been taking care of the kids on my own and sick (thank goodness I am better now). I don't think I have ever been so exhausted in my life. I give SOOOOOO much credit to Mom's with husbands that travel a lot, Military Mom's, and especially single Mom's. I really have NO clue how you make it through a day knowing that there is no one coming home at the end of the day to help. I am just surviving at this point, and granted Greg not being home isn't really for work (it is a "work" team, but that's about as far as that goes), it was really his choice to do this tournament, so I think that it makes it that much harder/frustrating for me because he could very well be home helping me. Ok Melissa we get it! Enough complaining already! (Don't even try to tell me you weren't thinking that, lol!)

So on to the "Over the Moon" part! My amazing husband whom I am SO proud of (who I sorta just threw under the bus above lol) got an amazing promotion! He has worked SO hard for it. Greg has been working at his current job for almost 5 years, and to give you an idea of just how hard he works... in that time he has gotten 3 promotions and he now manages 5 groups. I really could not be more proud of him. I am really truly over the moon about it! I'm just so darn proud!

It didn't dawn on me until the other day that this is just like Greg. In my post about Greg winning a stroller, I mentioned how in college Greg it was known that Greg was not a very lucky person when it came to winning things through luck it just didn't happen. But, if it came to working hard to win, he had no problem winning it. Well I never realized how big that would pay off in the real world (I was really only thinking about it being good for sports and games). In college I always thought Greg was a little too cocky for his own good (Jen can probably back me up on that), I mean really can you really be the best at everything? Well the thing I have come to find out with Greg is he may not always be as good, but he will work his darnedest until he is not only as good, but until he is actual better. He strives to know everything about everything, I wish I was even half as determined as he is. It really just blows my mind. I know I am going on and on about him, but I am really just so proud of him (did I mention that yet?) and what he has accomplished in a fairly short span of time. So yeah... I am now done gushing. I am sure many of you out there have husbands just like this (I personally know of a few), aren't we just so lucky?!
(Thank God Greg doesn't ever read my blog lol).

Sunday, July 7, 2013

Blur.

Life has been a complete blur lately. I don't even remember the last time I wrote a post, has it been long? Time has been flying by Greyson is turning 10 months in 6 days. How the heck did that happen? He is such a mix of his two sisters. He is slower with motor skills and more vocal, like Aubrey (not to mention he looks just like her). He loves to put EVERYTHING in his mouth and eats non-stop like Addi. He hasn't found a food he doesn't like. He is an awesome, amazing, sweet, chill little guy and so much fun to cuddle with. I really just wish it wasn't going by so fast. It is crazy how having kids makes you really want to cram as much as you can into every moment (and just pause life a a bit) because you blink and that moment is gone.






Life with three babies so close together is definitely never dull, but oh my is it exhausting at times. I have had some really awesome days and some really rough ones lately. Lately my biggest struggles have been with Addi. She is just never content and rarely happy. She can whine a whole day away. Her speech has really been coming along. She is repeating most everything we try to get her to say, but understanding it all is a whole other story. We are definitely having communication issues. She will throw a fit because she doesn't understand what is going on. I am just praying it will get better with her speech, but man-oh-man it's rough right now. There are days I just feel like the worst mother ever, and end up crying. I worry non-stop about Addi, and it is just weighing on me so much lately. At least I have Greg who is dealing with it too, obviously not as much, but still. He tries to help as much as he can and I am so thankful he does. I am also so thankful that I have a girls birthday cruise coming up...

ONLY 11 DAYS! I have never needed a break more than I do right now, I just hope Greg can handle all the kids while I am gone. I am extremely nervous about leaving, but I know they are in great hands (I just keep repeating that to myself). The only downside to the cruise is that it means I am 30! Yep you read that right... 3-0. Now that is just shocking right? Especially since I don't look a day over 23 (hehehe a girl can dream, right?). Greg and I are only 4 days apart so I get to tease him about being 30 for 4 whole days! I can't hardly wait!

So again for the hundredth time, I apologize for my lack of posting and will try to do better! PROMISE!

Friday, June 21, 2013

Happiness!

I am beyond excited! One of my closest friends is getting married. No one deserves happiness more than her. We go back quite a ways, she truly is a reason that Greg and I are even together. If it weren't for her I'm pretty sure it never would've worked. I know that sounds strange but she was the one that always came with me to visit him, she always told me to go for it when I was unsure if I should, and lastly she was always there to listen when Greg and I were having rough times (dating through college isn't always easy). She is one of the few "pre-mommy" friends that really puts effort into staying in touch. She has always made our friendship a priority. We have had SO many amazing times, SO SO many.


















I just can't believe that it's finally her turn! I'm just so happy for her, I can't really even come up with the words to explain how happy I am for her. Not only am I excited that she is getting married but I'm also excited about who she is marrying! She is engaged to one of the funniest sweetest guys I have ever met. They are so amazing together.

So all that being said, the day they got engaged they were having a get together and I wasn't able to go. I had no clue they were getting engaged because they had a big trip coming up and I just swore he was going to do it then. I was heartbroken that I had missed her getting engaged and celebrating with them. I feel like I let her down. I feel guilty very easily, and it eats at me. I had dinner with her tonight and she was awesome about it, she knew I would of been there in a heartbeat if I hadn't been hours away.

So to my amazing friend Jen, I love you to pieces, and I couldn't be happier or more excited for you, you are going to make one heck of a gorgeous bride!

Friday, May 31, 2013

A Special Bond.

I don't know what else to call it, other than a "special bond". I feel like Aubrey and my Mom are inseparable when they are together. It's not that my Mom favors her or anything like that. It is more like Aubrey favors her. Even over her me, her own Mama. It has been this way from the moment she was born. Well not the actual moment, but you know what I mean. I have previously mentioned (many times, I'm sure) how Aubrey was a bit of a crier when she was a newborn. The only two people she would allow to hold her without screaming bloody murder, was me and my Mom. Not even Greg made it onto her very short list of people she liked. (Shhh... don't tell him I said that.) An example of how much Aubrey loves her Grandmas... Greg and I went on a cruise before Addi was born and my parents watched Aubrey while we were gone. When we got back I went to pick Aubrey up the second we returned. I had missed her terribly. I remember this part like it was yesterday. I got to my parents house and my Mom met me outside, I put my arms out for Aubrey and she clung to my Mom screaming. She did NOT want to come to me. I was really heartbroken. How had she not missed me? I couldn't pry Aubrey off her. Eventually my Mom had to just put her in her car seat and we left. Aubrey cried the ENTIRE way home (an hour drive). It took her half a day to like me again.

Aubrey has always just adored my Mom, and my Mom truly adores her just as much. They talk daily. Facetime to be exact, because going a day without "seeing" Grandma is NOT and option. When my parents go away on vacation she asks everyday when Grandma will be back. My Mom also has such a soft spot for Aubrey too. She will do anything for that little girl. Not that she wouldn't for any other Grandchild, but it's just different. They are like kindred spirits or something. There is just no good way to describe it. They just have a "special bond".

What have we been up to? (Video Update).


Tuesday, May 28, 2013

Words.

As Addi's Birthday approaches I can't help but think about Charlie. It's so hard not to. It's hard not to feel guilt. The day I was welcoming my baby into the world, a friend was losing hers. Now two years have gone by, but it still feels like yesterday.

I spent a long time looking for a card to send this year, and none of them were good enough. I sat down and wrote what I wanted to say, but it also wasn't good enough. I just can't seem to put into words how I feel, how I think of him often, how every time I do my heart breaks all over again. I wish I had the words to make her understand just how amazing I thought Charlie was, how sweet, caring, and kind he was. How I still remember him playing in the water giggling and swimming like a fish. I still remember him running around my house laughing and playing and having a blast.

I just can't find the right words. Words that really convey how much I think of him and pray for them. Words that don't sound forced or fake and are eloquently put. Words that will make them feel better, that will make them get how much Charlie touched everyone's lives.

After I wrote in the card I had settled for, I decided to look for another and to start again. Then tonight while I lay in bed I realized I don't think I will find the "right" words, because there are none. All I can do is let her know that although I may not have gone through what she has gone through, and I may not know exactly how that feels, I still care a whole awful lot and I still think about Charlie all the time. So I am scratching the card idea. Most of what I wrote in the card did not come out the way I had wanted, except for one part:

"I just want you to know no matter how many seconds, how many minutes, hours, days, weeks, months, or even years go by I will never forget him."

I will never forget him, and I know that anyone who's had the pleasure of getting to know him feels the same.