Saturday, December 31, 2011

New Year!

As I was getting ready for tonight's festivities, yes I know it is the middle of the afternoon, but Aubrey is napping so I can actually get stuff done. So as I was straightening my hair I started thinking about this last year and how much we had been through and how much has changed. We were so blessed to have Addi come into our lives, and that she is such a strong fighter and got through so much. So blessed to have Aubrey, such and amazing little girl. She has grown up right before my eyes. She is such a character, just so funny. Aubrey is such a smarty pants, talking up a storm. It's amazing to see her learning and growing!

 I also thought of my resolutions. Greg and I had started the P90x but had to put it on hold until we got weights, so now that we have those I want to start again. I also am thinking that I might do the Body by Vi shakes replacing lunch or dinner. Dinner on the days I lunch with the girls (can't give up my Chipotle!). I would just love to be healthy and fit.

I look forward to what 2012 brings, can't wait to see Addi crawl, walk, talk and more and for Aubrey and Addi to play, interact, and learn!

Hope everyone has a wonderful New Years Eve and an even better 2012!

Thursday, December 29, 2011


Today's therapy appointments were interesting. I was so happy(and proud) about how much progress Addison had made, sitting, reaching and playing while sitting, trying to crawl, etc. They were somewhat happy too with her sitting too, but wanted Addi to be able to go from crawling position to sitting, and sitting to crawling position (which is more likely, but she more just throws herself onto her belly). I think that is a bit much for a 6 month old. The whole thing definitely brought me down a peg.

I am getting a little frustrated with the whole situation, they want her to be doing something specific and then she does it, and it's never good enough. I just don't even know why they still have her coming to see them. I know that she has a "mild case of low tone", but seriously give a girl a break. She is doing great by all the standards I have seen, if not even a little ahead.

So on top of that, they gave me information on her eating issues. Basically because of her cleft, and her low tone eating solids will be challenging for her. After telling her doctor and both therapist about it, I just now get this information. I thought I was crazy. Addi had a tough time even adjusting to a bottle, and breastfeeding was just out of the question. I tried over and over again, and she just couldn't get it. I had breastfed Aubrey with no issues, it seriously made me feel like a first time Mom all over again. It took her two months to get the hang of a bottle, again they said this was due to her low tone and cleft issues. Back to the solids issue (went off on a tangent for a bit). Now we have this little nuk brush type thingy, that we use to "wake up" her mouth. Then we have to massage her cheeks and face to get her jaw ready to chew. I think I got a little ahead of myself, and forgot to specify what Addi's "eating issues" are. Basically no matter what I put in her mouth, pureed food, baby food, smooshed food, cut up food, puffs, etc. She gags, and most times spits it out. I am beyond frustrated. So I guess we will give this face "wake up" thing a try.

This is the crazy little thing I have to use to wake up her mouth...

Our Miracles (Post 2- Our Second Miracle)

I had written this post back in July,  to go along with I have yet to post it because I had put information in it that I am not "supposed" to share, well more information that Greg and others would rather I not share. It's hard for me because I am so open about EVERYTHING, and don't see any reason to keep it to myself. Anyways because of my negative feelings towards keeping everything to myself I had yet to go back and edit and post this, but for some reason this morning I woke up thinking about it. So I am going to omit what I need to and post it. So here it is:

After everything we had been through trying to conceive Aubrey, and being told we could not conceive naturally, it left us feeling pretty secure in the fact that we would not need to take preventative measures.

Well a lovely seven months later, I woke up a couple nights in a row to go to the bathroom, and thought it to be quite unusual. I decided to hunt down my last hpt, a leftover from trying to conceive Aubrey. So keeping in mind that this was a pretty old hpt, I used it and kept an open mind. When two lines appeared, my "open mind" seemed to escape me, I really hadn't expected a positive. I started to get panicky, to calm myself down I tried to convince myself there was no way that it was right, that it must be a defective test.

Hoping to be calmed, I called my sister in law, whom coincidentally had just informed me a few days before that she was pregnant and had laughingly said how funny it would be if I were too. Then I called one of my closest friends, who has a little boy just a bit older than Aubrey, knowing she would completely understand my freak out. She told me to got get more tests ASAP! Unfortunately Aubrey was napping at the time. The long amazing naps that Aubrey is known for and that I normally looked forward to, became pure torture. When I finally got the tests, eight of them to be exact. I used six and all had the same result. PREGNANT! I couldn't wrap my mind around it. It just wasn't possible, or so I had thought.

I went in or an ultrasound two weeks later to see how far along I was. While laying there staring at the screen with anticipation, an empty sac appeared. Nothing was inside. The doctor went on about it  being a possible blighted ovum. I just laid there numb. Not listening to anything. I had not wanted to be pregnant, before finding out that I was. Once I thought I was, I wanted to be.

I just knew it. I knew it had just seemed too easy. There was no way we had gotten pregnant on accident, no way that I was truly pregnant. I walked out of the room so defeated, set up an appointment to come back two days later for more blood work and then an appointment for two weeks after to see if it was in fact a blighted ovum or not.

On the way home I threw up on the side of the road. It just confused me more. I didn't know if it was because I was so upset or if it was morning sickness. My blood work showed that my beta numbers were very high and doubling. Of course I researched misdiagnosed blighted ovum's to see if it was possible, that I was maybe really pregnant. I found out that sometimes when you have a tilted uterus (like I do) you can be misdiagnosed. It gave me hope.

Finally ultrasound day arrived, I was beyond nervous. When a little baby with a  heartbeat filled the monitor, I was so amazed and so relieved. I was pregnant, really pregnant!! The baby measured just under seven weeks. Which would make it that I must of found out the second I became pregnant. I guess my body produces and extraordinary amount of HCG.

Nine months (give or take) later, Addison was born! We were so in love, instantly. She wasn't a good eater like her sister, but she wasn't a crier like her either. Which made us happy. She had spitting up a lot. It was coming out her nose and mouth and she was turning purple every time. It was very scary. We later found out they are called dusky spells. I was worried, but a couple of the nurses had seen it and acted as if it was normal. So I mentioned it to the Pediatrician. She didn't seem too concerned until right when she was ready to leave it happened. It was worse I guess than I had described. She immediately thought there might be a heart issue. Greg stayed so calm, I was hysterical per the usual.

A NICU doctor came to look at her and agreed, and he immediately transferred her to Wolfson's for the possible heart issue. She underwent a dozen different tests, echoes, many x-rays, and others I just can't remember. It was a whirlwind. I cried non-stop for days. The only way to keep from crying was to let my mind go numb, to just not think which is really hard for me. Another Mom I knew who had a baby in the NICU for around 20 weeks, had told me that she tried not to cry while she was with her daughter. She left her emotions at the sink (you have to scrub your hands and arm until they are raw, it is a good 3 minutes of scrubbing, then you can enter the NICU.) So that is what I tried to do, and I tried even harder not to cry around Aubrey. I didn't want her to know anything was wrong.

Addison was jaundice, and barley awake. She wouldn't eat, so they had to put in a feeding tube to force her to. Most times it just came right back up. She wasn't gaining weight. She looked so small and frail. She was so lethargic. We met with numerous different specialists, and got bad news pretty much every time.

Addison was in the NICU for seven days, but it seemed like and eternity. It was tough to balance time between staying there with her and time with Aubrey. We didn't want to turn Aubrey's life upside down, but we didn't want to be away from Addison who was going through hell, either. It tore me apart, I missed my babies whenever I was away from them.

We have had three to four appointments each week since leaving the NICU (when this was written, we now have two appointments a week). My Mom comes up and watches Aubrey. I really have no idea how I would of gotten through all of this without my parents. They have bent over backwards to do anything and everything they can. We are so blessed to have such wonderful family in our lives.

With all of Addison's issues, we found out that she is lucky she made it here. I guess that in more cases than not babies like Addison are either miscarried or still born.

So not only were we not even supposed to be able to conceive Addison (since we were told we could never conceive naturally), but she beat all the odds and was born. She truly is our second miracle.

Most are lucky to have one miracle happen in their lifetime, Greg and I truly have had two. We love them both more than life itself. We live and breathe for them. They are our everything.

Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Playing together!

Now that Addi is sitting more her and Aubrey have a lot more interaction. It is the cutest thing EVER.

I swear Addi has changed so much this month it's hard to wrap my brain around it all. She is sitting by herself, trying to crawl, standing holding on to things, and now playing with Aubrey. I am loving being a Mom of two. It was really tough, well I should say IS really tough, but now is when the fun times begin and it makes it all worth it. That sounds bad... it's not that it wasn't worth it before now, but it's just more instant gratification, less crying, more personality, more laughs, more smiles (if that is even possible). I just feel like I have gone over a huge hurdle and am now on the other side happy as a clam. 

Tuesday, December 27, 2011

I've got smiles for days! (My litte busy bee!!)


5 Christmas Celebrations! (WARNING LOTS OF PICS AND VIDEO'S)

So we had five different Christmas celebrations! How fun is it that we get to celebrate one holiday five times!!!

Our first celebration was the week before Christmas ( We had a blast. For our second we headed to Melbourne to spend Christmas Eve day with Ryan, Ashley, and her family.

We headed down Friday night, Greg ended up getting out of work a little early so it worked out perfectly. We got there in time for dinner and then spent the rest of the night chatting (my favorite thing to do)! Time got away from us and we stayed up way later than I am used to. Addison had a rough time adjusting to sleeping in the room with us. She woke up at 4:30 and ate but then cried for a while after she finished, which is very unlike her. Needless to say Greg and I didn't get much sleep.

Christmas Eve day was a little different than one I had ever experienced. We went to a bar and watched football. It was a little weird bringing babies to a bar on Christmas Eve, but Addison loved watching football. She was zoned in. It was so cute. Aubrey had fun too, she was more into coloring with Grandma than watching the games (I don't blame her). After the games we exchanged gifts, and then ate an amazing dinner that Ashley had prepared. We had a great time, and it was so nice to meet Ashley's family. They are so funny and sweet! It was a wonderful celebration!

 Aubrey running around the deck outside on Christmas Eve day!
 Hanging out with Willow.
 Was around 80 and sunny! I love our warm Christmas! 
 Checking out the fish. 
 Getting a better look at the water. 

 Loving the football game!
 Present time!

 Ready to eat! 
Christmas morning we headed out to my parents as soon as we possibly could get our butts in the car, which with kids isn't all that early. Once everyone showed up, it got loud and crazy. You must understand thought that I love loud and crazy, it's what I am used to. I know most would be overwhelmed by it; everyone talking over each other, tons of different conversations happening at once, five dogs barking their heads off, everyone crammed into the family room with wrapping paper flying in every direction, but it sounds perfect to me! There is never a dull moment. Aubrey loved opening gifts, so much that she opened other people's for them. She was a little gift opening monster. I loved seeing her so excited. The girls didn't nap, they were just having too much fun. We ate a yummy meal, talked some more and then slowly headed out. 
 Finally ready to head to Grandmas!

 Crazy amount of presents.
 After the craziness! 

She fell asleep for all of two minutes.

We then went to Greg's Mom's house for Christmas number four. Which is maybe the polar opposite of mine, very calm, very clean, but still fun. Aubrey loves the play room she has set up for the grand-kids, so she disappears as soon as we get there. We sat down as soon as everyone showed up and ate, the thing I love most about holidays is we get fed yummy food wherever we go! We opened gifts, chatted, and ended up staying until around 9 (maybe even 9:30, I can't remember for sure). Aubrey was still raring to go, but I was pooped. The girls hadn't napped and it was already two hours past Addison's bedtime and an hour past Aubrey's. So we called it a night. 

 Opening her kitchen. Thank goodness Grandma put it together for us! 
It was such a wonderful day, I was sad it was over but really glad at the same time. We went home and put all of Aubrey's gifts together and then got ready for our own little family Christmas.
Our own Christmas was the quickest of them all, Aubrey opened her gifts quickly so she could get back to jumping on the trampoline Grandma got her. She is a jumping fool! Not only does she use it for jumping, she loves getting in it and playing with other toys, snacking, and laying down. Pretty sure she thinks its her new room, or at least a really cool fort. She seriously got the best gifts, and loves every single one of them!

We really are so blessed to have so much family to celebrate with. I absolutely love being crazy busy, so I didn't mind one bit going from place to place, I actually prefer it! Not many people get 5 Christmas's in one year!

She is SO excited, just look at that face! 

Taking a break. 

Using it as a chair, who knew it was so multipurposed.