I'm so over it.

Last week we took Addi to a new Cardiologist in Gainesville. We loved this new one, but Addi's new ECHO was not what we were expecting. They found a suspicious bright spot on the wall of her aorta near where she had her surgery, but not something resulting from the surgery. They are trying to get the film from our other Dr to compare since she had only had her last ECHO a couple months ago. If it is something that has changed recently then it is even more concerning. To me it's concerning either way. If the other Dr failed to inform us of this issue, I find that concerning. If it's something that wasn't on the previous ECHO and something that has changed that rapidly, I find that VERY concerning. I have been a wreck since. Seriously it's all I think about. The Dr wanted a CT done within the next week or two. SO... tomorrow is the day. I am super nervous and I knew today would be rough and full on anticipation.

Well today was rough for all sorts of reasons, not really the reasons I expected. Addi and Greyson got sick yesterday and Addi seemed to have the worst of it. High fever, cough, and endless runny nose. Greyson had about the same but only a mild fever and was acting more himself. This morning they woke up with low fevers and I was relieved. Then all the sudden there was throw up on the ground and I couldn't figure out which child it was from. I look over and Greyson looked horrible. His chest was heaving as if he was trying to catch his breath. I watched him for the next 15 mins hoping it would get better. He had a lot of retraction and he was breathing much faster than normal. You could see each rib, even on his back and his whole body moved with each breath. I had spent a whole week in the hospital watching this type of breathing while he was recovering from RSV at less than a month old. So of course my mind went crazy, envisioning another week stay in the hospital crammed in a little bed by his bedside, watching my baby lethargic and helpless. I then tried to think more logically, he is almost two, not less than a month old. I am sure that this happening at this age isn't as severe as it happening to a newborn. So after 3 hours at the doctors office, 2 breathing treatments, antibiotics and a steroid shot, we were sent home (nebulizer and steroids in tow). Greyson has pneumonia and asthma. So yay, another thing to add to my list of worries. I have to say though through all the craziness of today, the upcoming CT scan and Addi's heart wasn't front and center in my mind as it had been every other day since finding out about it. Definitely not a good thing, but at least somewhat of a silver lining?

Needless to say, I am worn out and just so over it. You know what they say... when it rains, it POURS!

Anyways, prayers are very much appreciated. Prayers for the health of my sweet babies and prayers for my sanity! :)