I have had a rough week. Is it the worst week any person has ever had? No.
My children were having a rough week and misbehaving and it was overwhelming, does it mean that I don't love them to death? No.
I lost my wallet and have had to start from scratch getting things back in order, is it the worst thing that has ever happened to me? No.
Just because I have had a rough week and have vented about it, doesn't mean I don't appreciate what I have. Everyone has tough times, some have tougher times than others, but to judge or compare and say they don't know what tough is, is in my opinion BS. I have been through so much with Addi's health, sat by her bedside in the NICU not knowing if she was going to survive the night, I know what tough is and believe me that still isn't close to what others have gone through, there is always something tougher. I am not usually one to "complain", I have an awesome family and amazing friends and I feel I am so lucky and I thank God every day for that. So don't think for one second because I am venting about a rough week that I don't know that. I really wish that people would stop judging others and just be understanding that while it may not be the worse thing you personally have gone through and it seems trivial to you, people are allowed to talk about it. It's completely fake to go on and on about how perfect your life is, it's just not reality. So get off your high horse and have a little compassion as other would for you if you were having a rough time, and know that just because someone is having a rough go of things and expresses that, it doesn't mean they appreciate things any less than you do.
This day and age I feel like you can't say much without someone picking it apart. You know when someone asks you while you are pregnant what you are hoping for, and everyone gives the beauty queen answer, "I'm just hoping for a healthy baby", (umm is that not a given?) because we are so afraid of being judged if we have a preference, afraid of looking selfish (hello, do you not know how many women out there would kill to have a baby, any baby and you are sitting here hoping for a certain sex?) We can't even honestly answer because of something, somewhere that someone (whom we don't even know) might be going through. I say this being a person that struggled with fertility for a long time. I was so happy to be pregnant but I still had hopes of what the sex might be, it's only natural. I was talking to my friend on the phone today and she was talking about how hard this stage with her kids has been, and she said "I love them but..." It's like we have to say a positive thing before we can vent so that we won't be judged for feeling the way we do. What happened to Mama's supporting each other. We are all trying our best. and you know what? Sometimes it's not all rainbows and butterfly's, sometimes its really hard. I guess we should just keep that inside though, so that no one will think we don't appreciate life or what we have. It's just craziness if you ask me. If a friend were to call you to vent about their lives, would you tell them that their petty problems aren't important and to call you back once they have more valid complaints, I surely hope not. You definitely wouldn't be a friend worth having if that were the case.
My point is, that just because you are going through a tough time and you feel it is tougher than what someone else is going through it doesn't make their problems any less valid.
This day and age I feel like you can't say much without someone picking it apart. You know when someone asks you while you are pregnant what you are hoping for, and everyone gives the beauty queen answer, "I'm just hoping for a healthy baby", (umm is that not a given?) because we are so afraid of being judged if we have a preference, afraid of looking selfish (hello, do you not know how many women out there would kill to have a baby, any baby and you are sitting here hoping for a certain sex?) We can't even honestly answer because of something, somewhere that someone (whom we don't even know) might be going through. I say this being a person that struggled with fertility for a long time. I was so happy to be pregnant but I still had hopes of what the sex might be, it's only natural. I was talking to my friend on the phone today and she was talking about how hard this stage with her kids has been, and she said "I love them but..." It's like we have to say a positive thing before we can vent so that we won't be judged for feeling the way we do. What happened to Mama's supporting each other. We are all trying our best. and you know what? Sometimes it's not all rainbows and butterfly's, sometimes its really hard. I guess we should just keep that inside though, so that no one will think we don't appreciate life or what we have. It's just craziness if you ask me. If a friend were to call you to vent about their lives, would you tell them that their petty problems aren't important and to call you back once they have more valid complaints, I surely hope not. You definitely wouldn't be a friend worth having if that were the case.
My point is, that just because you are going through a tough time and you feel it is tougher than what someone else is going through it doesn't make their problems any less valid.
Alright, I am done. I usually just leave things alone and am not very feisty but I just can't put up with anymore crap right now.
I think you put it well. I hope your days get better. I am struggling with two kids...I can imagine having three is tough. Venting is a tough subject and when done in the social media light can be even tougher. (Please read text in their current state of mind, i.e. if they are mad they interpret it as an angry translation) which is the very reason I don't even mess with it anymore.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, stay strong and just imagine....you are almost through the toddler years for all three! :) I can't wait for that stage. LOL I have a love/hate relationship with the first three years of life.
Thanks Kate! :)
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