Keep Forgetting...

I keep forgetting about Addison's upcoming surgery, and then once I remember I get panicky. It's just one week from today. I have purposely put it out of my mind and really haven't accepted that it is actually happening. I know it might not be the best way to deal with it but its how I tend to deal with most things that upset me. I don't know why, but I fool myself into believing that if I ignore something, it isn't real or it will just go away.

I am scared that when it is finally time for the surgery I am going to be so overwhelmed by emotions. I just can't imagine them cutting into my little baby. I just don't know how I will handle seeing her with tubes going every which way all over again, and looking so helpless and frail. She is just the sweetest baby girl and doesn't deserve to have to go through all of this. Okay that's just way too much thinking about it, time to push it out of my mind for now...

My poor sweet baby in the NICU