On days like today, I really question my ability as a mother. I really feel pushed to my limit. I swear every other day Aubrey is a terror. I hate even typing that out. I have tried making a chart and once she has five stickers on it she gets to go to "the jump someplace" (she got to pick whatever she wanted to do). Each night we talk about the day and decide if she feels she should get a sticker. So far she has ONE sticker, this may be a LONG process, since she can't seem to go very long without screaming at me, or just plain disobeying everything I say. When she does actually have a day where she is nice and listening, Addi is a hot whiny clingy mess. I just can't win.
We were at a store today and Aubrey has started to grab things she wants wherever we go. She was having a BAD day. We were checking out and usually I can just hand the thing she wants over to the cashier and let her know we don't want it. I just let her carry it around the store and keep reminding her we aren't buying it. So when it happened this time, Aubrey lost it. She went crazy. Huge fit. She was throwing her body around, screaming at me. I had already dealt with it all day. I had no fight let. I told the cashier to just ring it up and give it to her. I try to choose my battles and this just was not a battle I was willing to fight right at that time. The cashier was an older lady and her response was "Are you sure?". As if to say "Are you sure you want to give in to your horribly behaving child." I already felt like crap for giving in, her asking if I was sure, DID NOT help. I really wish I had not given in, but in the moment I did and really I can't go back and change it. I have taken the item and it is now part of her reward for gettting those darn stickers on her chart (if that ever happens lol!) Okay, okay, enough with the negativity... I just desperately need a break. I really can't deal with all the tantrums and the yelling. I am at a lost at what to do. I really am. I just feel so defeated.
As I typed this I felt a little deja vu going on. Have I already written this post before? LOL.